The One Management Rule That Applies to All Workplaces: Vent Up

The situation: your manager complains to you about your teammate. 

You have a decision to make: do you pile on, defend, or keep quiet? And once that talk is over, you might be left thinking: “what are they saying about me when I’m not around?”

As you can see, this puts an employee in an uncomfortable position and can leave them feeling like they can’t trust their manager or leaders in the company. That’s why there is one rule every workplace should encourage: vent UP. 

Venting vs. Complaining

There is a difference between venting and complaining. Venting is a temporary release of negative emotions to relieve pressure and, typically, get some advice on how to move forward. Having a bad day due to complications executing a project or dealing with a difficult employee is completely normal. And seeking an outlet for that frustration is healthy, if done right. In contrast, complaining is typically an ongoing expression of negative feelings with no desire to move forward. It is also associated with helplessness and blaming others for problems. (For more on negativity and what to do if it turns toxic, see here.)

Venting Up

When you are having a tough moment you should absolutely vent, especially if you are having a difficult time getting yourself back to normal or in a more positive forward-thinking headspace. However, it is important to vent up. That means you should only vent to people who are equal to or above your position in the company org chart. Venting down can unintentionally lead your employees to feel like they can’t trust the organization or it can put them in a negative headspace. Additionally, ICs are often not trained to handle more complex interpersonal situations, and involving them unnecessarily can be distracting and even distressing to some. 

Turning venting into action

The best way to turn a bad day into a positive one is to vent to someone who can truly help you. Again, that help will typically come from someone “up” the ladder. The goal of venting should always be to find a resolution and move forward (instead of churning on it and letting it fester). When you are venting to someone, make sure they are prepared: ask them “can I vent for a minute?” and if they say yes, try to keep the story to the facts and stay calm. You can also let them know upfront if you just want them to listen or if you need help moving forward. Sometimes just talking out loud can bring you to a resolution, so it’s ok if what you need is a listening ear rather than advice.

Be discerning

Unfortunately, while the “vent up” rule holds true across organizations, not every person above you is emotionally or organizationally equipped to handle all of your problems. Try to be thoughtful about who is on the receiving end. You should also be clear with your expectations: do you want them to keep this between you? Be explicit if you want a cone of silence. And be aware: that person may not keep that promise. 

Be the example

As a manager or leader, it is important for you to set the tone. Venting up is a great way to show your employees that you won’t let “sh*t roll down hill”. You can and should create an environment where your employees trust you enough to vent up to you. And when they do, be sure to listen, thank them for informing you, and do your best to help them more forward. You can be the positive influence in your workplace .

Navigating interpersonal relationships can be hard, no matter how senior you are. These relationships become even more strained when startups face pivotal growth moments or stressful times. Luckily, that is where Kindred Works thrives. If you are looking for support, you can contact us here or email info@kindred-works.co.